Forever Hold Your Peace
by Violet-Or-Indigo
Summary: A story of the twisted, loving, unique, stressful, awesome, sometimes aweful, other times great, relationships between Troy/Britta and Jeff/Annie. This story is equal part Jeff/Annie and Troy/Britta Rated M for Language, sex, and racism. More warnings may follow.
1. Romantic Stuff Like That

Annie took a hearty sip of her vodka, and turned to Britta with dizzy eyes. "Hey!" she called, way too loud for being right next to her, "Hey Britta!" She shook her shoulder as if she were losing it.

"What… what," Britta asked. She wasn't nearly as drunk as Annie ….. yet.

"You uh…you remember when you helped people with their relationships?"

"Oh yeah, in that room with all of the pretty ass flowers and shit?" she asked.

"Well, you should like, do that for me…that'd be better than…better than a rabbit doing a honey badger. In case you didn't know, that's pretty awesome".

Britta began to chug her vodka. "An… An… Annie! Sweetie, you're not exactly engaged."

"Yeah, but, I mean, come on, Brittles, its Jeff! We all know, he freaking wants this," she said, gesturing to her body with shaky hands.

The bartender started toward Britta, "Would you like some tequila ma'am? We have—". "What do I look like? Go somewhere!" she shouted, clapping loudly, "Go, Diego, go!" She turned around on her barstool, smacking her lips, "Now, Annie, darling. How are you going to get him in bed?"

"Get him in bed? I thought we were talking about weddings. Getting him in bed isn't a problem. You know we kinda, already did it a little once. I turn him on."

"But if you're getting married, don't you wannna do him one last, beautiful time before you're married and bull shit like that?"

"Oh Britta," Annie laughed. "But any ways ... you need to tie the knot too."

"Whoa now, tree-hugger! Who said anything about ME getting married? That wasn't part of the deal, and it's more your area. Hit and run, "she said, putting emphasis on the "hit", "That's my area!"

"Shut up! We both know that you love Troy. I highly, highly, highly doubt that you are going to quote "run" now that you've" Annie shuddered, "hit" him."

"First of all, you know I could snap you like a twig, right? Second of all, you don't know all about me. I could be fucking superwoman for all you know! Just wait."

"Britta. You're probably going to die ALONE if you don't marry Troy. So here's my advice, MARRY HIM! He loves you and you love him. Don't start threatening me just because you're scared."

She raised her finger and dropped her jaw immediately for a comeback, but no words followed. Eventually she sighed, "You know what? Fuck it. Troy and I have a great friends with benefits relationship, why ruin it with kids, arguing, and no sex? I mean, Annie, it's me. Britta. Britta fucks guys. No sex doesn't make for a very happy Britta".

"First of all, you live with him. That is way more than a "friends with benefits" relationship. Second, if you don't want kids, don't have any. Third, marriage does not equal no sex. If these are fears you have maybe you should talk to Troy about them. What else are you guys gonna do after you guys do, what you like to call, bang." Annie made a disgusted face as she let the end of her statement roll off of her tongue.

"Great. I'll do all that, and you know what you can do? Go get me a stronger drink because you don't look like David Beckham yet."

"Fine whatever, but TALK TO HIM!" Annie ran off to get Britta drink that she'd regret in about four hours.

Britta turned back to the frightened bartender, "So, like, what's happening on Dora? Does she still run around in her crack world where her partner is a monkey and the back pack carries talking condoms?" The bar tender shook his head and disappointment in the human race and walked away.

"Hey babe, I decided to get you a dir-dirty martini. Thatokay? It better bebecause that's what you're getting." Annie was slurring her words.

"Okay," she said, sipping. "L-l-listen, if you really think marriage is so epic I will help you get Jeff to commit, but only if you get me more of those funny…yellow…drinky…things".

"Alright, but last… last… last one." Annie said, pointing her shaky finger as she backed away. "I am running out of money and I want a Grasshopper. Is… that okay? Again it better be. And you're starting to sound like a bottle of "hit-me" walking around with access to a female body. Britta.

She put the drink down roughly, "Nah, that's okay because right now, you're Ryan Gossling juggling lollipops while a kangaroo fucks Miley Cyrus".

"Hey!" Annie shouted "talk to him. DEAL?"

"Okay".

"Great. Let's get out of here because instead of looking like your albino, anorexic, Kate Hudson self, you look more like a spray-tanned Charlie Sheen! Now he has sex with a ton of women so if we don't get out of here soon, you'll be very, very, very confused. Then again, you would get to feel the pleasure between your legs that Jeff feels every so often." Annie paused for a moment. "Ew. Ew … ew … ew. Oh gross. What am I saying? ... I'm gonna have Jeff pick us up now."

Two days after Britta's drinking adventure, she decided to talk to Troy. She sat down awkwardly on the couch, giving a forced smile," So….Annie and Abed…where do you suppose they went?"

Without making eye contact, Troy replied "Abed is working on a film for his class. Annie… well she could be anywhere. But wherever that is, she's doing Jeff." He let out a laugh.

She smiled, "Yeah…so…uh, that whole sex thing…that's pretty fun, right?"

Troy slowly turned his head towards his girlfriend. "What?" Based on the tilt in his head and the confused expression on his face, it was obvious that he hadn't the slightest clue at what Britta was trying to express in her own awkward way.

"Okay, I need to talk to you about something!"

Troy instantly panicked, "You're breaking up with me! Oh my god you're dumping me. Why? What did I do? Please baby I'm so sorry." Troy started having a meltdown.

She took his hands, "No! Baby, you're too pretty for that. No I'm just saying we have to have a conversation about, like, marriage, and kids, and you know, romantic shit like that."

"Well it started out nice. Before we got to romantic shit like that." Troy smiled and pulled Britta onto him. "Did you have a change in a heart about the whole marriage thing?"

"Well, I just sort of made this deal with a friend, and I have to get married to complete it…come to think of it…I really don't benefit at all from the deal, I don't know why I said yes…but anyway, I did and we have to. So," she stood up, clapped her hands, and pointed to the ground, "Make with the proposal".

"No. If you want to marry me, YOU have to tell me that YOU want to marry me. I don't care about the deal you made with Ann… I mean your "friend." Sweetie, I love you. This isn't exactly the best way to agree to becoming life mates."

She sighed and opened her mouth, "I want to marrrrrrrr…" she struggled to say it.

"What's that Britta? I don't think I heard you." Troy was sarcastic in his tone and was clearly receiving enjoyment in watching Britta struggle through the conversation.

She crossed her arms. "I want to marry you," she murmured, inaudibly, under her breath.

"That doesn't sound like woman who's in love. Try again."

"I want to marry you," she said a little louder, but still murmuring.

"Still not what I'm looking for Britta."

"I already said it, damn it! Come on, give me a break".

"Okay so… if … if… we got married what you know … else do you want in the future?" This time Troy was uncomfortable.

"I told you, we're going to have kids and live happily ever after. The whole fucking romantic package," she said, nearly chugging a beer.

"As romantic as that sounds, I'll pass." Troy was irritated that Britta didn't seem to be taking this seriously.

"What? You don't want kids?" she gasped, "You think I'll make an ugly baby, don't you?"

"Britta… I want kids. You'll make gorgeous babies. Granted are baby will be mixed so it'll have to grow up thinking they should be grey… and with bad hair." Troy was joking. He moved so he was standing in front of her. "In all seriousness" he started "I love you." He took her hands and threaded his fingers between her fingers. He looked deep into her eyes. "Are you sure this is what you want?"

"As much as it goes against every single fiber of my being, yes," she said, painfully.

Troy pulled Britta in for a kiss. He smiled. "What type of ring do you want?"

"A blue diamond," she said, before kissing him deeply, "If there are pearls anywhere on it, I'll hurt you".

Troy grinned. As awkward as that had been, he loved Britta and he knew she loved him. "Noted." They both laughed.

-Two weeks later, Troy and Britta were engaged. -

Troy and Britta were the last of the group to arrive in the study room. Britta wore an engagement ring with a blue diamond and no pearls. They held hands and walked to the front of the tables in the study room. This was rare for anyone to do, so their friends knew something was up.

"Guys," Troy announced "we have an announcement to make."

"duh" Pierce shouted at them "we figured that out when you two waddled to the front of this room. Gay!" Britta shot pierce a dirty look.

Troy turned to Britta "Do you want to tell them or should I?"

"You do it, baby, you know I still can't get the words out right".

"We're getting married!"

Before anyone could cheer or anything, Jeff shouted, "WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?"

"Jeff!" Annie actually sounded hurt when she shouted his name.

"Well what is this?" he turned to Britta, "How much did he pay you?"

Britta raised an eyebrow, "Whatever it was, it was loads more than the chocolate coins you paid for that shirt you bought on the side of the road".

"Oh burn!" Annie shouted. At this point Annie was in pain. She had never wanted alcohol as much as she did now. "I have to go!" Annie ran out of the study room faster than you could say "what the Hell? If Jeff doesn't want to marry Annie, this is not the story I was hoping to read so I'm going to exit and write my own version, one that isn't about Troy and Britta." Everyone looked confused.

Britta turned her attention to the door, "I'll uh…go see what she's up to," she said, racing after her.

Annie was leaning against the wall, visibly upset. Britta walked up to Annie. Annie looked directly at her "What?" Annie asked.

"What's wrong with you?" she asked, "Seriously, you left Jeff. Are you on drugs?"

"Huh…"

"You two freaking adore each other, why are you acting like this?"

"I'm not acting like anything. By the way congratulations," Her voice got smaller after offering Britta her congrats. " I never thought you'd get married at all, hmm I mean let alone before … me."

"Excuse me?" she asked, offended, "Hey! I'm the bitchy one, not you! And you will, you just need to quit beating around the bush".

"Beating around the bush?" Annie moved her head in the stereotypical "You did not just go there" motion.

"You heard me! Stop with the cutsie hinting bullshit! If you don't actually tell him you want to get married, he has no way of fucking knowing!"

"Britta I'd be willing to bet a zillion dollars that you clapped your hands and said "Troy propose.""

She looked away, but turned back," Not the point! Maybe I did, and look where being honest got me," she said, waving her ring in her face.

"Fuck you! Oh wait, you've got Troy for that. You don't need to fuck yourself." Annie was taken aback after hearing herself say those words.

"So, what I'm hearing is you've been drinking?

"If I was drinking do you think I would've stopped? Oh and since you don't know, stopping is when you put the bottle down and live without alcohol in your system." Annie was well aware of how bitchy she sounded, but that didn't make her take it back.

"Okay, you know what? When you start acting like Annie, and not Scarlett Johansson on drugs, we'll talk" she said, throwing her hands up, and walking back into the building.

"No Britta, wait!" Annie practically cried as she begged Britta to come back.

"You ready to be sober?" she asked, not expecting anything even related to yes.

"Yes!"

She asked if this was reality in her head, but nodded. "Alright, so you gonna tell him?"

"Umm… I kinda sorta…. it's just that…. Britta I'm scared." Annie gave Britta her Disney eyes.

"Of what? What's the worst he could do? Don't answer that".

"Britta" Annie whined. Britta could tell that Annie was about to cry. Britta did not want Annie to cry.

"No, come on, don't cry! You want some vodka?"

"You have vodka… on school grounds? You could get in so much trouble. I'm going to get in trouble for being with someone…. who has vodka….. hidden… but still on school grounds. With that Annie burst into tears.

She threw her hands up. After a little while, she awkwardly tried patting Annie on the head, "There, there….um…Hush little Annie, don't say a thing. Britta's gonna get you a wedding ring".

"Britta!" Annie screeched. "You know, you should be used to crying. Troy cries hysterically almost every day."

"But he stopped doing it after sex, that's all I ask for".

"I don't cry after sex. However when I lost my virginity my boyfriend did, he did it before too, and during. He doesn't like women anymore. He decided that he'd like me to have a penis. I tried really hard to grow one, it didn't work out. It's alright though, I've accepted that I'm an innie not an outie. Annie was going down her psychobabble trail.

Britta looked up, "You know, I really like that sound you make when you shut the fuck up," she said with a smile, walking back into the school building. "It's a good thing you're pretty," she said on the way.

"Britta… Britta, I'm in love with you!"

"No more alcohol for Annie," she said in a baby-talk voice.

"Alright, I'm not in love with you. I just didn't know how to get you back here." Annie said.

"Mhm, we've been out here for a long time, people are either going to think we're dead or married, now let's go back inside," she said, tugging on her arm.

"I can't. What would I say to Jeff?... And don't you answer hi."

"I don't know what you two talk about, if any actual talking goes on".

Annie tilted her head "I don't know our problems."

"So go talk to him about your drinking problems"

"Britta…. Be serious."

"I don't know. Why don't you ask him what he wants from this relationship, and you answer too."

"I'm dating Jeff Winger. He's not exactly a fan of marriage type stuff. I'm not dating Ross Geller!" Annie was making stuff up as she went along.

"He's a guy. That means he's trainable. You want marriage, he might not. If it's broke, fix it".

Jeff and Troy ran out to Britta and Annie. "What's going on out here?" And follow up question "Is everything okay?" Troy asked. The question was directed at Britta, but Annie was free to answer as well.

"Everything's fine. We're just talking about what's wrong with you guys"

"What's wrong with us?" Troy asked.

Not caring about his feelings, she blurted out, "You know, how you cried after the first times we had sex. … And Jeff has commitment issues".

Annie couldn't contain her laughter. "I did not cry." Troy stated defensively.

She nodded, sweetly, "Yes, yes you did, sweetie".

Jeff raised a hand, "I DO NOT HA—yeah, I do," he nodded, admitting.

"Did Jeff Winger just admit he has commitment issues?" Annie asked, half serious, half joking.

"Jeff Winger admits nothing!" he said, regretting his words.

"You got that right!" Britta said, rolling her eyes at him.

"Guys don't fight. Think about the fact that …. Troy cried after he and Britta had sex, and Britta is still going to marry him. Every time they have sex he'll shed tears."

"Annie! I didn't cry." Troy replied.

"According to Britta you did." Annie and Jeff started laughing. "Just saying, Jeff never cried during sex. EVER! I believe that helps our relationship." Annie was dying to make a statement about her and Jeff's sex life.

"Kay, Annie, dear, you're not helping," Britta whispered.

Jeff grinned, "Well can you blame her? I'm in her sex life, of course it rocks."

"It is true!" Annie said.

"Britta Dear," Troy whispered in ridiculously loud voice "You aren't good at sticking to your "I won't talk about our sex life" plan."

"Troy, dear, you're not good at being good at our sex life, so that promise is revoked".

"You know you've promised to only have sex with me for the rest of your existence … right? Never mind that. Clearly, Jeff and Annie are having an awkward moment. Let us abandon them so that their awkward moment may turn into an awkward conversation."

"I think ours is a little more awkward, but yes, let's take it somewhere else," she said, pulling him into the building, "Come on cry baby!"

Jeff turned to Annie, "So…"

"So… what do you want to talk about?"

"So uh…" Jeff started to snicker, immaturely, "You really think our sex life is awesome?"

"Jeff…"

"Yeah?"

"Umm…. I have a drinking problem. …. No… no, no, no that's not true."

"Really? I would've believed it. No offense, babe."

"It's okay… You know ….. I love you." Annie felt weird saying it.

"I…..uhhh…love you t…..tube! I love youtube!" he shouted, more panicked then he had ever been.

Annie was devastated but she tried to hide it when she spoke "Youtube? Yeah I like it. I don't think we've reached the love portion of our relationship yet.

He laughed and scratched his head, "So we should probably go back to studying".

"We were never studying."

"You see? That's why we should," he said, walking in the building, "Let's go".

"No."

"Huh?" he asked, the word being a foreign language to him.

"You heard me." Annie stated firmly.

"What's the matter?"

"I don't know where we stand. However, I know more than necessary about your feelings towards youtube."

He looked down, "Okay…I see where you're coming from…"

"I'm going to stare at you until you speak up." Annie held back several emotions as she spoke.

"Well, I'm not really good at this sort of thing; can't we talk about it somewhere more private?"

"Where would that be Jeff?"

"I don't know…indoors where people don't stare"

"Fine. I'll follow you."

He awkwardly walked in through the building and, without thinking, into the men's room. Annie didn't give a shit and followed him in. "Due to the fact that this is the MEN's room. I think the man should start." The aggravation was clear in Annie's tone of voice.

"Annie, listen…I mean, you know you're not just another girl, you never have been and never will be…but…why do we have to ruin what we have now? It's beautiful".

"Ruin it? How?" Annie asked.

"I like the way we are, if we go further, it's just more…" he held back the word responsibility and replaced it," it's more complicated".

Annie responded, "You think you'd have more responsibility don't you?"

He blinked rapidly, "Okay, mind reader much?"

"Avoiding the subject are we?" Annie questioned

He looked at the floor and back up. Suddenly he turned to anger to cover his insecurities, "Why are we even having this argument? Huh? We wouldn't be if you didn't want to change everything".

"Jeff I'm sorry but I waited four years to be with you. Clearly I wasted them because all you wanted in a relationship with me was a place to put your…" she stopped, refusing to say the word dick!"

"That's not true, and you know it! If I wanted nothing but pleasure, I'd turn to drugs, since they worked out soooo well for you!"

"Oh! Shit just got real!" Annie began to cry. "I love you and because of that, you're finding ways to hurt me. Well congrats, there is nothing you can say or do that'll make me feel worse than I do now!" Annie started to walk out of the men's room.

He took her by the arm, and spun her around. "Did you ever think that I'm not actually douchebag? Maybe I'm just scared, because, truth is; I need you way more than you need me!"

"Right now, you're just a douchebag. We both know you don't care about me, let alone need me."

"That right there is bull shit. Annie, I…I love you! Okay? I love you! I love you so much I'll have kids with you, I'll have a house with you, and I will go to the store, buy you feminine products and let you put them in the medicine cabinet. Tell me that do not sound like a man who cares."

Annie stared wide eyed at Jeff. She wasn't sure what to say. "Why didn't you just say that? You know with the exception of the medicine cabinet, those are ugly, I needed to know. "

"Because…if I scare you off, and don't get you back, I may never have an opportunity like this again and I don't want to blow it."

"Don't you think not telling would scare me more?" Annie asked.

"Annie…us guys…we don't think."

"That's for sure."

He laughed, "So please tell me, right now, what you want us to be?"

"I don't care. I just want to be together ….. forever."

He smiled, "Me too. Drinking problem and all," he said with a smile, "Sorry, too soon".

"Nah, Britta told me to say it. For what it's worth, there is one worse response than I love youtube that you could have gone with."

"Oh? And what's that?"

"It's been fun fucking with you but I gotta go back to my wife." Annie enjoyed saying that because she knew it was very out of character for her to say.

Jeff could've come up with many responses, but instead, poised his fingers in her hair, and pressed his lips to hers. Annie kissed back. They held the kiss as long as humanly possible. "Jeff."

"Annie."

"Jeff."

"Annie, you're ruining the moment"

Annie bit his bottom lip. She started to unbutton her sweater. He aided her and pulled her into a stall.


	2. Pissing off Britta

Pierce spoke up, "Does anyone know why the men's bathroom, is blocked off?"

Abed shrugged, "I think the janitor said somebody spilled some white hair gel or something."

Britta raised an eyebrow, remembering where Jeff and Annie seemed to be headed. "Oh, I bet they did. Stupid leaky hair care products".

Jeff buried his face in his hands, "The product isn't leaky! It's…thick."

Britta looked Jeff up and down, "Nah, it's leaky due to rust."

Troy chimed in "I saw the bottle…. I'm pretty sure it was empty."

Britta gave him a disgusted look, "Oh, honey. Leave the jokes to me".

"You guys aren't talking about a bottle of hair gel are you?" Abed asked, Abed was 100% serious when he asked.

Annie smirked and shook her head. "No, honey they're not."

Britta smiled, "Yes we are, sweetie. A bottle. A nasty little old used up bottle," she said, giving Jeff her biggest grin.

Annie replied "Hey I still like the product."

"Of course you do, honey, you've never had a working one"

Pierce looked at everyone, "Are we talking about Jeff's cock?" The group dropped to an awkward silence.

Jeff decided to break it, "Annie, sweetie, why don't we let these guys study while we go have fun with my "bottle"?"

Annie gave him a smug look "I have a test to study for, but don't let me stop you. Go play with your bottle."

Britta softly chimed in, "reeeejected".

"Britta at least I got an offer. Troy, why don't you and Britta have some fun with your bottle? You know, stick it in her cup holder."

Britta smiled, "I don't need an offer. He goes when I tell him to. As a matter of fact," she said standing up and pulling Troy to the door, "Come on honey, we're going to make love now".

Troy was ecstatic "yippy!"

Once back to the apartment, she shoved him in, slammed the door, and advanced toward him. Troy pressed his lips to Britta's mouth. She kissed him passionately and pushed him onto the couch. They both started to remove clothing until none was left and they were more than ready.

"Dean-a-ling…. I had to drop off some files and Jeffrey and Annie said to walk right in. So… here –OH MY GOD!

Britta rushed to her feet and snatched a cover from the couch. "Oh! Dean Pelton!" she shouted awkwardly, "I didn't think you would stop by today…at this very minute…"

"I didn't know that you guys did ….."That."" "Oh Troy" he said, his eyes sneaking towards an area that they really shouldn't have been going. "Now… I know I may have favored Jeffrey over you for some time, but you're ….. Wow.

"Dude get away!" Troy shouted.

Britta looked at them both, "No offense Dean, but he's mine. And get out of my house!"

"Well… Britta, why are you so upset that I'm hear. And for what it is worth this is ABED'S house. You want to call it your own, get your name on the lease."

"I'm upset that you're here, because you're fantasizing about my boyfriend's cock, and call it what you want, but I'm still going knock you fucking teeth out if you don't leave. Get the picture?"

"Well, your boyfriend doesn't seem to mind."

"Oh no sweetie, I did that, not you," she said, pointing to his obvious boner.

"Troy, is this true?" Dean asked

"Sorry man. She did it. Now, I was a quarterback so …. RUN!" Troy stated.

"Why couldn't I have entered during Jeffrey's most recent sexual rendezvous?" The dean asked.

Troy was quick to respond "You can still find some "left overs" in the men's room at Greendale."

"Yes. Go get those for your collection and let us get down to business".

The dean was out of the door. "I'm sorry Britta" Troy started, "But that was a total mood killer."

She resumed her position on top of him, "I can fix that, now where were we?"

"I think this is just about where we were."

She giggled, and her lips were an inch away from him when Jeff knocked on the door, "Britta?"

She threw her hands up, "OH COME THE FUCK ON!"

Jeff paused for a moment, "So like…is this a bad time?"

Britta quickly wrapped a cover around herself and peeked her head out of the door, "May I help you?" she said, through gritted teeth.

Jeff grinned, "Yes I have a very serious issue!"

Britta waited, "And what would that be?"

In his most kiddish voice ever he exclaimed, "I'M BOORREEDDDDD!"

Britta's eye twitched a bit in anger, "Go fuck your girlfriend like a normal person!" she shouted, and slammed the door, unaware of the fact that Annie had come up behind Jeff.

"Yeah, let's not take Britta's advice on that. Let's go find something exciting to do over at Greendale."

Jeff's eyes widened, "You don't find me attractive anymore! Are you freaking high? Do I look like Matthew McConaughey to you? If so … I am truly sorry"

"Jeff I simply want a life aside from fucking!"

He paused for a second, "You're gay aren't you?"

"Jeff, in order to receive a fast pass for this," she gestured to her body, "you'll have to marry me. Period!"

He groaned in the most obnoxious way possible, "Fine. What do YOU want to do?"

"Let's see what Abed's up to." Annie said.

"Can we at least do something fun?"

"Why don't you like Abed?"

He reverted back to his child-like voice, "He's weeeeiiiiird! And foreign!"

"We both know that he is not foreign. You know, I kissed him once. I used to say it was the best kiss that I had shared with anyone in the study group. Now I realize, it was the best kiss that I ever had!"

"Oh, yeah? Well, Britta kissed me! At least mine was attractive, and damn good at that whole whore thing!"

"Let's see if Britta agrees." She knocked on the door, "hey Britta."

Before she answered, Jeff crossed his arms. "I happen to know for a fact that Abed has no desire to be with you whatsoever!"

After a moment, she came to the door, fully dressed, and furious, "What ... Do you want … now?"

"Britta, on a scale of one to ten, how good was your kiss with Jeff?"

"I don't know! I was drunk as hell, and I don't even remember what I had for breakfast this morning, you're barking up the wrong tree."

"Okay, then… how was your sex with him?" Annie asked.

She threw her hands up, "I don't freaking remember! Why does this matter? Are you two fighting again, because F.Y.I you don't need to fight to have make-up sex, you can just do it?"

"I'll keep that in mind. But, you and Jeff had sex for months. You have to remember something from it."

She thought for a moment, "a 3, okay? A 3".

Jeff looked outraged, "Stop lying! If Annie likes it this much it couldn't have been a mediocre 3! You're just jealous!"

Britta kept her calm, "Of what, Jeff?" "Of what?"

"I don't know! That our sex life is an "anywhere, anytime" thing, and yours just got interrupted twice"

"Anywhere, anytime, huh? Last, I remember, you were stood up so Annie could study".

"Oh Britta!" Annie interjected, "You know that I really needed to study."

"And I know that Jeff's a walking boner, now if you'll please excuse me, I'm busy, and not with that, so there's no need to interrupt".

"Alright, if it isn't THAT I'm free to do this…. Troy! Troy come here!"

"You two truly have no life, don't you?' Britta responded.

Troy walked out with a less than enthusiastic expression on his face "Yeah?"

"Troy let's do something!" Annie proclaimed. Annie then proceeded to walk into her apartment Jeff followed her into the apartment which housed, "Troy, Abed, Britta, and Annie," and might as well house him, since he was there all of the time."

Britta wasn't giving off the "Oh please be here!" vibe. Annie didn't care; she had nothing better to do. "The floor is lava!" Troy shouted. He and Annie both jumped on a couch to avoid "lava." Britta and Jeff stared at Annie and Troy with the "I'm dating a six year old" look. "Annie and Troy stared back with the "You suck the fun out of everything" look.

"Kay, Jeff, you want to go do something that doesn't look like we're drunk?" Britta responded, trying to ignore the other two.

He looked reluctant, but then looked at the two jumping around, and shrugged. "What the hell," he gave in, and they started out of the apartment.

"Fun suckers!" Annie shouted at them on their way out.

"Ignore them Annie. What's the worst that could happen?"

"Yeah I guess nothing." Annie replied.

Britta dug through her purse for her wallet. She then produced two slips of paper. "Two free entrees at the place across the street, wanna go"

He shrugged, "I guess, but..."

"But what?"

"That place never has sales, how did you get two free-?"

"I know a guy," she said calmly, leading him into the restaurant.

The host gestured to a table, politely, "Right this way,"

Britta looked him up and down, planning to say something mean.

Jeff nudged her, "Britta… be nice…people are staring…" he whispered.

Ignoring him, she turned to the host, "I mean ... you have like tights on…"

Jeff discretely kicked her in the ankle.

"Ow! Jeff, what the fuck?"

Britta took a seat at a table, leading a stunned Jeff behind her, "Jeff, I mess with these guys all the time," she said, briefly opening a menu and then closing it.

Jeff put his menu down as well, "Why? What do you get out of it?" he asked, foolishly expecting a sentimental answer.

Britta shrugged, "I don't know, but it's pretty damn funny".

Jeff put his palm to his face as Britta ordered. His thoughts drifted to Troy and Annie.

"Do you want to watch TV?" Troy asked

"Sure. What's on?" Annie replied.

"I don't know. … This?" Troy said gesturing to the TV.

"Yeah that's cool."

Britta took a sip of her drink as Jeff finished off his steak. She couldn't help but ask when she saw his nervous disposition, "How are things with you and Annie?"

"Never better, why?"

She looked up from her plate, "Because something's on your mind about her, and it's not her vagina for once." He looked taken aback by this, "I'm wondering where we'll go from where we are." Britta thought for a second, "Did you ask her?"

"Kind of …"

Britta stood up from her seat, "As long as you're on the same page as her you're fine. Let her fall through the cracks, you're screwed." She headed for the door, and for some reason Jeff followed. They headed back to Abed's place and walked in.

"Hey." Annie and Troy looked away from the TV to greet them as they walked in. "We were just fucking." Troy joked. Nobody found it funny.

"How was … whatever the hell you were doing?" Annie asked.

"Fine." "We learned a lot about each other," Britta interjected. Jeff nodded. "Yup. I apparently think about Annie's vagina too much and Britta likes to screw with foreign people.

"Britta I never knew about this activity." Troy said laughing.

"Troy shut up," Annie said. "Jeff stop thinking about my vagina. But more importantly, Britta, if you think Jeff is thinking about that "area" … DO NOT MAKE A CONVERSATION ABOUT IT! Understood, because that is creepy?"

Britta stared at Annie, "I'm sorry, you lost me when you started talking about Jeff."

"Bitch if you talk about my vagina, I'll have yours stitched shut in your sleep."

"Sorry to interject," Troy began, "but Annie, don't even joke about that. Secondly, Jeff and Britta should not be spending time together. It causes "issues"."

Britta's face was still horrified by Annie's threat, "Agreed!" She went and sat by Troy for protection. Jeff went to get something to eat from their fridge.

Abed entered. He was followed by, the Dean, Pierce, Shirley, and Chang. "Hey Troy … hey Annie … Hey Jeff," Abed stated, completely oblivious to the fact that he had ignored Britta.

"Abed!" Troy proclaimed.

"Hi Abed!" Annie shouted.

"Hey Abed!" Jeff exclaimed.

"Go to hell," Britta interrupted.

"Oh you," Abed replied, before he quickly jumped into a conversation with Pierce.

She rolled her eyes and wrapped her arms around Troy.

"Troy!" Abed screamed running directly in between Troy and Britta facing Troy.

Britta kicked Abed in the leg, "Get up," she ordered.

"Leave Abed alone Medium boobs," Pierce demanded of Britta.

"None of your business go back to being lonely and old," she retorted.

"Shut up lesbian," Pierce atoned.

"Check with Troy how lesbian I am".

"Britta … Abed made me watch Easy A … I understand the process of pretending to have sex with people who are not exactly straight."

"I would kick your ass but life beat me to it, multiple times."

"She wants me." Pierce said to Chang.

Chang replied "Totally," and offered him a fist bump.

"Guys," Troy looked at them "I'm pretty sure she wants me."

"No, Pierce, why don't you go after someone that you have a chance with. Try little boys, you fit the profile." Britta said.

"Yeah Britta, I'm the pedophile." Pierce snared. "Troy is how many years younger than you? How many Britta?"

"Thanks for the relationship tip. You're going to die alone; a tip from you must be legitimate."

"You don't even love Troy. You're just marring him to make a statement about how people of all ages should be permitted to marry one another. We both know it is true." Pierce confidently stated.

"Pierce…" Annie began, but she was interrupt by Chang shouting, "Burn!" Annie had a vibe that Britta was not going to handle this appropriately.

She stood up, "You know what? I'm out of here, "looking actually hurt as she left the room and slammed the door.

"Go apologize." Annie demanded.

"Shut up big boobs." Pierce replied. "Don't expect your gay boyfriend to go off on me for saying that. Bye Abed, I'm outa here." Pierce walked out of the apartment.

Jeff stood up after he left, "I would've said something if you didn't already leave! You're going to be so sorry next time we see each other."

"Troy go talk to Britta," Annie said in a motherly tone.

Troy gave Annie a look that said "okay thank you for running my life bossy," but he simply walk over to his and Britta's bedroom door. He knocked on the door "Hey Britta… honey … can I come in?" Most guys in Troy position would have no desire to walk in because they'd assume their girlfriend was crying. But Troy was dating Britta so …. That was an obstacle that he prided himself in never dealing with.

"No," she responded simply. Jeff motioned to Troy to walk away, "Come on, dude, she's giving you an excuse not to have to talk to her, go for it."

"Jeff!" Annie screeched in a horribly, horribly unpleasant voice. Annie clenched her teeth so nobody could hear her. "If you ever want to have sex with me again you will encourage him to go in and talk to her."

"Go talk to her or I will spend ten minutes annoying you for every second I'm not doing Annie."

"Britta … Britta … Britta … Britta … I'm not going to shut up until you let me in." Troy said.

She threw the door open, "What do you want?" she yelled at him, more hurt than angry.

Without saying a word Troy walked into their room, shutting the door behind him. He looked at Britta, waiting for her to say something.

"Yeah, right now, the wall is a better companion than you, so you're wasting your time."

"Britta what do you want me to say right now?" Troy asked legitimately wondering what he should say.

"I didn't ask you to say anything. I don't want to talk to you."

"Well we need talk." Troy replied unphased by what Britta just said.

"No, we don't!" she protested, walking to the other side of the room.

"Come here." He said. "Just talk to me babe."

As he spoke, she walked around the room with her fingers in her ears, going, "La la la la la la la, I can't hear you."

"Britta!" Troy grabbed her wrists and forced her fingers apart from her ears. "Britta you need to talk to me!" He shouted.

Outside, the group was making guesses on what they were doing in there. "Do you think they made up?" "I bet they're kissing." "Nah, they're still fighting." The group's thoughts ran wild. "I don't think it would be the worst thing in the world if we … listened at the door." Abed said.

Inside Troy was begging Britta to express something to him. "Please Britta … talk to me! What's wrong?"

"You. Did. Nothing! You. Said. NOTHING!" she explained.

"Do you want me to back out there and say something now? Troy asked.

She gave him a, "Did you really just say that?" look, and headed for the bedroom door.

He grabbed her hand "You can't leave every time you don't want to deal with something. I know you love me. We know we love each other. I know I love you. Who cares what Pierce says? He wanted to upset you."

She tried to pull her hand away, "Yes I can, I've done it all my life. And as for Pierce, it worked."

"You're admitting that you're upset? You don't do that." He put his arm around her. "Talk to me."

"I didn't admit anything. You said deal with "something". That could be extreme anger. You said you loved me, yet you did nothing. Get that through your head, before you go telling me what I need to do."

"I didn't know you wanted me to do anything. You burry your emotions so far down that I can't read you. Seriously, when have … you… ever … ever wanted a man stick up for you? You always say that you're not weak and can stick up for yourself."

"That's not the point. And maybe I've never loved another guy like I love you. This is different. You knew that much."

"I'm sorry."

"I just don't want to talk to anyone right now," she said, turning the door handle.

"Britta don't go. Why are … you know … feeeeeeeeeeeeeelling like this?"

"Because this is just one big "dump on Britta day", and I'm not too crazy about it.

"Sweetie, that's ridiculous." Troy kissed Britta on the head after saying that.

"No, it really isn't," she told him. Troy gave her a hug, trying to show her some sympathy. He grabbed the sides of her face and kissed her. One kiss quickly became twenty. She eventually lightened up and laid down in bed, returning the kisses.

"Do we have a condom in here?" Troy asked in an extreme whisper, weary that the group might be listening.

She grabbed one from the bedside table and handed it to him, continuing to kiss him.

Troy grabbed the ends of Britta's shirt when … "It's not dump on Britta day!" Abed, Jeff, Annie, and Shirley ran into the room and jumped onto the bed with them. "Why would you think that sunshine?" Shirley asked. "I'm so sorry if I made you feel like this." Abed said. "Britta, we don't ever want you to feel this way again, so we decided to spend much … much more time with you. We won't leave you alone for the rest of the day." Annie "assured" Britta.

Britta finally lost it and bolted to the very corner of the room, and curled up. She held her knees and rocked back and forth, "Leave me alone! Why do you all hate me?"

"Britta weren't you listening to us?" Abed asked. "We don't hate you, we're not dumping on you, and we love you." Abed sounded like a robot.

"Get away from me!" she ordered.

Troy took over " OUT!" The group sprinted out of the door. He turned to Britta "We clearly were not meant to have sex today so … I'm going to sleep. Night." Troy walked over to the corner kissed Britta on the head, changed out of his clothes and went to sleep.

She slowly crawled into bed, still slightly twitching.


	3. Annie's got a secret

"Good Morning Colorado! It's the Adam Evans Morning Show! Wake up and drag yourself out of bed for this beautiful Friday morning!" blasted the radio alarm clock at 6:30 a.m. Britta groaned and pretended not to hear it. Troy threw the covers off of him and said to Britta "Come on honey, up and at em."

"Go away," she ordered through the pillow that muffled her voice, "I feel sick," she said, pretending to cough.

"It's Friday, last day to get up." He walked over to Britta's side of the bed, yanked the covers off of her, and pulled her up. "If you want a shower you better beat Abed to it."

She fell back onto the bed and lay down, "That's okay, I'll just run through the car wash without my car," she said through a yawn.

"The water is scourging in there. You couldn't survive." Troy felt that his statement needed more contexts so he sort of elaborated. "I may have been dared to run through one in high school.""

"Ugh!" she protested, stomping over to the bathroom door and knocking, "Anyone in there?"

"Yeah it's Annie."

"So, like when are you going to be done?" she asked, impatiently.

"Um like I'm doing something so can you like I don't know, wait?" Annie sounding aggravated.

"Oh, of course!" she responded, cheerfully. She stood still for 5 seconds before knocking again, "Are you finished now?" she asked, obnoxiously.

"Britta I'm in a bad mood. Unless a man is standing with a gun to your head and this bathroom is a magical place that can protect you from all gun shot's … Go away!"

She rolled her eyes and headed back to the bedroom, stopping in front of Troy to say, "I got up for nothing, I will never get those 2 minutes of sleep back, thanks to you." She then proceeded to lie back down on the bed.

"A … get up because it is well past sleeping time. B … Was Abed already in there?" Troy responded.

She answered in reverse order, "B…No, Annie was, and she's in a "bad mood". A… It is in Britta world; don't interrupt Britta's sleepy time."

Troy laughed and tossed her the clothes that she laid out the night before. "When is Annie ever in a bad mood?"

"That was my question. But I'm too tired to ask," she said, shutting the bedroom door and getting dressed in front of him.

Out in the hallway Abed was having the same problem that Britta was having earlier. "Come on I need to take a shower?"

"Go away Abed," was Annie's response to everything Abed had to say.

Britta finished dressing, ran a brush through her hair, and opened the door. "I'm out," she announced to her roommates.

"I'm right behind her." Troy said.

"I'm going." Annie said walking out of the bathroom with her hand in her pocket.

"Great Annie" Abed started "I didn't even get to brush my teeth." With that, everyone was out of the door and off to the campus.

"Monday's the first day of our last semester," Pierce began the study group conversation.

"Yeah Annie and I just signed up for a class together," she told the group, making eye contact with everyone but Pierce.

"Yup," Annie confirmed, "Sociology 2 elective edition." Annie forced a smile that failed to fool anyone. They could all tell that she was upset.

"Annie, is something the matter?" Jeff asked, genuinely concerned for once.

"No." Annie stated not sounding too convincing.

"That's not true." Abed protested. "Annie was in a bad mood this morning.'

"Abed!" Annie shouted.

"Oh. Was I not supposed to tell him that? Jeff … I retract my statement. Annie's fine."

"What's the matter sunshine?" Shirley asked.

"I don't want to talk about it." Annie said looking down.

"Come on tell us." Pierce said.

The bell then rang. "I have class." Annie said walking out of the room and down the hallway towards her class. Everyone went their own way toward their classes; except Jeff. Jeff caught up with her. "What?" Annie said as he approached her.

"Why won't you tell me? It's me," he told her.

"Jeff … I'm fine."

"No you aren't, and I'm not letting you go until you tell me."

"Please Jeff … I don't want to talk about it."

"Well, I do. And if you don't tell me now, you better promise to tell me after school."

"Umm … trust me. You do not want to know." Annie said.

"You don't know that. Tell me now, or later. Pick one."

"I have to go to class!" Annie yelled.

He tightened his grip, "Pick. One." He repeated.

"Leave me alone." Annie broke free from his grip and sprinted to her class.

He sighed in frustration, but retreated to his own class.

After school, Annie waited for the rest of the group to leave before she walked outside. Unfortunately Jeff waited for her. She just decided to run past him. As she did, he grabbed her arm.

"You didn't tell me then, so you're telling me now. And I was arm wrestling all through class so I can keep you here all day if I need to." He informed her.

"Nothing was wrong. It was just a rough morning." She smiled trying to make him believe her.

"You're not fooling anybody," he said, shaking his head.

"I want to be alone." She started to cry hoping it would make him let her go.

It had the opposite effect, he pulled her in, and held her close, "Just tell me, babe," he said softly, "You'll feel better."

It was nice to have Jeff comforting her. But, Annie still shook her head no against his chest. She was really scared.

Jeff grew a bit frustrated, "At least give me a valid reason as to why you can't tell me."

"I'm not positive that there is anything to worry about." Annie replied.

He released her, "Fine, don't tell me. But if something comes up that I DO need to worry about, come to me." He did not give her a chance to respond, as he headed back to his apartment.

Annie left the apartment early Saturday morning, long before anyone woke up. She thought she was equally lucky on the way back, because she initially didn't see anyone. As soon as she closed the door Troy approached her.

"Where were you?" He asked.

"I had a doctor's appointment."

"This early?" He knew something was up.

"Yes?" She answered unconfidently.

"What's that?" He asked pointing to the paper in her hand.

"Why are you interrogating me?" She replied.

"You first." Troy stated. Annie didn't reply. "Out of time!" Troy grabbed the paper from Annie's hand. He observed it for a moment before he asked "Is this a sonogram?"

Annie came up with a lie quickly. "It's for a class."

"What class?" Troy asked.

Annie wasn't prepared for that question. "Uterus … 101." She smiled as a last attempt.

Troy knew she was lying. "Did you tell Jeff yet?"

"I'm not pre…. No. I haven't told him."

"How are you feeling? Do you need me to get you anything?"

"I'm fine. But Troy … could you not tell anyone … and I seriously mean anyone."

"You think I'll tell Britta don't you?" Troy asked.

"No, I'm afraid you'll tell Abed." Annie said.

Troy replied "I'll keep it to myself." He gave Annie a hug then entered his room.


	4. This Might Top Alcohol

On Sunday, the group was all gathered at Abed's apartment celebrating Britta's birthday. Annie grabbed Britta's arms and dragged her. "Britta, come open your presents!" Annie said seeming more enthusiastic than Britta.

She managed a smile and kneeled down to the pile. She pulled out a gift bag and opened it. She pulled out the gift from Abed. "Wow, thanks," she told him, "A random DVD."

"You're welcome Britta." Abed said in reply.

"Open mine next medium boobs." Pierce said. "But fair warning … it's my penis." He made himself laugh. Annie groaned at Pierce's comment. Britta forcefully yanks the tall skinny gift from Pierce's grip.

She tore through the wrapping paper to reveal a shiny silver object. She raised an eyebrow at him, "A stripper pole? Are you serious?"

Troy jumped from his seat and ran over to Pierce. "I fucking love you man!" He said. "You are a god. Thank you! Just thank you!"

Britta rolled her eyes and pulled out another gift. The gift bag read "From Annie" in cursive letters. She retrieved a large bottle of Kahlua with a bow around the neck. She jumped up from her place, and ran over to her as Troy had done. "Thank you! You know me so well!"

"I know! I just thought to myself … what does Britta love more than anything? Obviously the answer was alcohol." Annie stated proudly.

She gave a large grin and went to open Shirley's present, a Bible. She looked up at Shirley, "Thanks, I'm going to put this right next to my striper pole." Shirley frowned as Britta opened Jeff's present, random cash. She looked up at him. He shrugged, "I also thought of what Britta would like. I didn't know, so I thought everybody loves cash. Look at it this way, now you can buy more alcohol." She thought about this for a moment, then thanked him and stared at Troy's present. "Okay, honey, can you top a stripper pole and a Bible? How about random cash and a DVD? You cannot top the alcohol." He smiled, confident that this might top alcohol.

She opened the bag and pulled out to slips of paper tied together with a ribbon. She observed them closer, and then looked up at Troy, amazed, "Two tickets to Hawaii?" He nodded with a smile. She wrapped her arms around him and planted her lips on his. "That's so sweet, I might actually use that for you," she said, gesturing to the pole.

"Britta!" Shirley sounded horrified by what she heard.

Pierce turned to Shirley. "I am now realizing that sex related topics bother you. If you want to get over that … maybe you should strip for me. You're a sexy bitch." Shirley gave Pierce a dirty look. "Guys let's aggravate Shirley. Everybody make your best orgasm sounds."

Everyone whole-heartedly joined in, as the room grew vociferous with moans and screams alike.

"Well that was fun." Abed started. "Now I'm going to bed." He walked into the blanket fort. "Please no more sex sounds. I don't like to think about you guys fucking each other. As soon as Abed left, Shirley did too. Everybody left except the people who lived there … and Jeff.

Britta waved the bottle in Annie's face, "You want some?"

"Yeah … wait … no …yeah, no I don't want some." Annie managed to say.

"Yes you do," Britta informed her with a smile.

"I'm tired I have to go to bed."

"Nooo, you have to drink this with me."

"Sorry Britta. I need sleep. Maybe Jeff will drink with you." Annie suggested after she said goodnight to Jeff.

She rolled her eyes, but turned to Jeff, awaiting his answer.

He thought for a moment, before getting two glasses. Britta grinned and filled them. She looked at Troy, "You want in?"

"Sure."

She grabbed a third glass and handed it to him. As she filled it, she asked, "So, what's with Annie?"

Troy glanced down. "You know Britta" he began "I forgot … I need to sleep too. Yeah that sleep. I'm tired." He faked a yawn and retracted to his room. As soon as he entered his room, he walked back out. He picked up the stripper pole and carried it into his and Britta's bedroom without saying a word.

She turned to Jeff, "He knows something you don't."

He looked at her curiously, "You think so?" he asked, taking a drink.

She took a hearty sip as well, "Whatever Annie's problem is, she told Troy before you."

He started to look furious, "Why the hell what she do that? It's Troy, out of all people."

She finished her glass and poured a new one, "Slow down, Dr. Doom, he might have found out on his own."

Jeff did the same, "Yeah I suppose that could be true." For a while, they were silent, finishing one glass and pouring another repeatedly, until both were on their last glass.

Britta took her last sip, "You know, I don't understand. It's been 5 glasses and I don't feel a thing."

Jeff did the same, "Yeah, neither do I. But, I'll tell you what, I'm going to tell Annie that—"

Britta looked around, "That what?"

Jeff's angry tone suddenly subsided. His eye contact failed as his pupils wandered around the room. 'I don't know," he said, slurring his words, "I…I feel like I want to…like I want to dance!" he exclaimed, getting up from his chair and twirling around the room like an idiot. Britta slowly helped Jeff into her car and drove him home. He stumbled into his apartment asking where his pet turtle was. She, herself, drove back home and walked carefully into the bedroom.

"Can you use the stripper pole?" Troy asked sounding hopeful.

"Didn't you say you had to sleep?" she asked, wondering what his excuse would be.

"Yes, but I was lying."

"To cover up what? And I'm not using the pole."

"No pole … no answer." Troy stated firmly.

She rolled her eyes and threw off her jacket. She turned on some music and granted his wish.

Troy quickly decided that this was the best day of his whole fucking life. He had a boner in under a minute from watching Britta.

She finished and turned off the music, "Okay, now give me an answer.

"To cover up Annie's damn secret."

"What is it?" she demanded, frustrated that she just stripped for that obvious answer.

"I can't tell you that." He said.

She gritted her teeth, "You mean to tell me I just did all that for something I already fucking knew?"

He smiled. "Yeah, But wasn't it great?"

She threw on some pajamas and opened the bedroom door. She pointed to the couch, "Out." She stated simply.

"Seriously … it was my room first." Troy said without leaving.

She held up a thong she had been wearing earlier and held it in front of the door, "Go fetch," she said in a high voice.

"Listen … listen. I tell you." He decided to say.

She grinned and closed the door, waiting intently.

"Think about this. What sometimes happens to women that leaves them unable to drink wine and keeps them in the bathroom a lot."

"I don't know, getting kidnapped by a pedophile?"

"No sweetie, try again. Here is another hint. It only happens to women who have fucked someone." Troy said hoping she got the point.

She gasped, "Annie has herpes?"

"No." Troy said. "It is something that grows in her uterus … for nine months."

Her jaw dropped, "No fucking way!"

Troy responded with a grin that was caused by Britta's reaction. "Go ask her."

She jumped over the bed and ran out the door, repeatedly knocking on Annie's door. "Annie!" she called.

"What?" Annie responded.

"Open the door!" she said, still knocking, regardless of her response.

Annie opened the door. "In the words of you, may I help you? F.Y.I It better be pretty damn important.

She went in and closed the door behind them, "You're preggers?"

Instead of responding Annie walked out of the room and down the hall into Troy's room. Britta followed her. The second she saw Troy she started to punch him. "Why the hell would you tell Britta?" Annie asked as she punched him.

"I'm sorry." Troy responded. "She stripped for it."

"Stripped? She stripped. You guys didn't even have sex? You sold me out for a strip tease?"

"Damn good strip tease." Britta replied.

"Shut up Britta." Annie said.

"Annie I understand this is pretty fucking shitty, but it's not Britta's fault." Troy said aggravated that Annie had told Britta to shut up.

"Fine." Annie said "Britta I'm sorry. "

"It's alright, as long as I never have to babysit it," she responded, with a smile.

Annie laughed and hugged Britta. She returned the hug, but also told her, "I'm so serious about that by the way."

Annie nodded her head. "I know. I wouldn't trust you anyways." She said it in a joking tone even though her statement was true.

"Annie, can you tell Jeff now?" Troy asked. "Because, I really can't keep this a secret. "

"No." Annie replied.

"So what's your plan to tell Jeff, Prego Lego?"

"Well…" Annie began. "Wait … Did you call me Prego Lego?" She shook the comment off. "I'm just going to wait 'till I'm so fat that he'll just figure it out on his own. That's a fool proof plan." She said with a smile.

Troy and Britta both tilted their heads and lifted their eyebrows, leaving them wide eyed in an attempt to convey the word, "Really?" without actually saying it.

"And you see nothing wrong with that plan?"

"You guys don't understand. I read all of the pamphlets, I checked medical websites, I even managed to buy … and read a book. I know how to be pregnant. I know how to go through delivery. I even know how take care of the baby. I know all of that … but don't have a clue how to tell the father!"

Troy took pity on Annie and rubbed her shoulder. "Come on … What's the worst that could happen?"

Annie turned around. Her eyes got extremely wide ... maybe even red. She stomped towards him looking like a stampeding bull as she answered his question. "He could DIE Troy! I could tell him … and he could and jump off of a bridge! Or better yet, have a heart attack right after I tell him! I better find a great place to tell him because that's where he'll be spending his final moments!"

Troy answered back, "I guarantee he is not going to DIE from finding out your pregnant. Annie do not be so afraid of this. Millions of people tell their boyfriends that they are pregnant."

Annie sighed. "Thanks for trying to help."

"Well at least you know he's the father … that's better than Shirley. Oh! Do what Shirley did … let Pierce blurt it out in front of everyone including the father." Those memories made Annie feel better. It was nice knowing that however fucked up the experience of telling Jeff would be, Shirley's would always be worse.

"Thanks guys. Now go have sex or something. I need to sleep … school tomorrow."

As Annie walked down the hallway to her own bedroom, Britta shouted to her. "Are you gonna tell Jeff now?"

Annie turned around to say "HEEEEEELLLLLLL NO!" She relaxed her voice a bit, "but you guys got me a step closer." She retracted to her room.

When Britta looked over at Troy he asked "Can you use the pole again?"

She replied. "Hell fucking no. I got naked for you on a pole given to me by Pierce." She shuttered. "No fucking way am I stripping for you again."

Troy looked disappointed. He replied "Fine … If you won't strip for me…" he walked out of the room and quickly retuned carrying the bible; he set it upright on the bed and gestured to it "Strip for Jesus."

"Jesus isn't real."

"He's a character in the story and he wants you to strip … and then have sex with me.

Britta rolled her eyes at him as she picked up the bible. She gently tossed it outside of their bedroom before shutting the door. She pulled off her pajama top and then helped Troy with his. As they removed each other's clothing she thought to herself "It would be nice to finally have sex without being interrupted."

Literally two seconds after she had that thought a voice came from outside of her door. "Hey Britta?"

Britta looked up towards the sky. "DAMN IT!"


	5. oops

Britta and Annie's new class started off just as they had suspected: boring and pointless. They walked into the study group, hoping they would find something interesting to talk about.

Jeff tapped his foot and looked up at everyone else's faces in the awkward silence. "So, who else is completely appalled by the Education Connection commercials?" The group roared with "Yes's" and "Ohhh yeah's". Then the entire group began to chant, "Get connected for free at Education Connection!"

Britta nodded, "And I think we can all agree that the original commercial song is 10 times better than the remake."

Annie spoke up, "I know, how could they do that to us?!"

Troy laughed, "And I was so pissed at Shannon Doherty's teeth gap." The group erupted in laughter.

"She never had that on Beverly Hills 90210 … or Charmed!" Abed said sound appalled by the teeth belong to the clearly struggling actress.

Jeff grinned, pleased with the fact that he started this conversation, but then realizing that there was nothing left to say, "Let's get to class, there's only so far this conversation can go." Everybody agreed and walked out. Annie walked side by side with Britta to their class.

Britta and Annie took a seat next to each other. Professor Warren walked around the room, rambling on about their next sociology assignment. He walked swiftly through the aisles until getting to Britta's row. As he raised his voice while he spoke, he discretely ran a hand through Britta's hair, and winked at her. He then walked back down to the front. Britta looked at Annie with a raised eyebrow.

"What the hell was that?" Annie said whispering.

Britta shrugged, "No idea…" she looked back at the front of the room. The rest of the class went easily, and when he announced that class was dismissed, the room headed for the door. On their way out, the Professor lightly took a hold of Britta's arm and stopped her. "Ms. Perry, can I speak with you for a moment?" Britta looked back at Annie for advice.

Annie shrugged emphasizing that she hadn't a clue as what to do.

She turned back to the Professor and nodded, unsure. He grinned and waited for everyone else to leave. Annie walked out of the room as well. She turned to Mr. Warren as the door closed, "What's up?"

He smiled and walked closer, "I just wanted to make sure that everything's going well."

She tapped her fingers, "Yeah…I'm fine."

He grinned and moved closer, realizing that she wasn't catching his drift, "I mean, a special student like you, I want to make sure you're alright."

She backed up a bit, "I'm fine, okay?"

At this point he was frustrated, "Look, I really think we have a special…student-teacher relationship…"

Britta started casually walking toward the door, "Uh-huh…"

He caught up to her and tilted her chin up, "But that doesn't mean we can't be something…more," he said with a smug grin.

Her eyes widened and she walked out the door, disgusted, "Get away from me!"

He followed her and lightly took her wrist. Just as this happened, Troy's voice was heard calling Britta from around the corner. As he came into sight, the Professor randomly took Britta in his arms and kissed her.

"Britta … what the fuck!?" Troy screamed.

Britta pushed him away, before she answered Troy's question to the Professor, "And just what the hell do you think you're doing?!"

The Professor grinned for a second, as he thought of a plan. He slowly backed up, back into his classroom as he said, "Miss Perry, I'm sorry, I'm your teacher. This is highly inappropriate."

Troy glared at Britta with a hurt and angry expression on his face. "Why?"

"It wasn't my fault, Troy! He came on to me, he's a lying bastard! You've got to believe me!" she pleaded.

"Yeah right Britta. You are a whore!" Troy yelled.

"Excuse me?! Who are you going to trust, some bullshit professor or your own fiancée?!"

"Yeah my soon to be EX fiancée." He said in reply.

She looked at him with a surprised, and hurt face, "Oh. My. God. You actually believe someone you just met over me." She through her hands up in defeat, "Fine, believe whatever you want to believe. But when you come to your senses, don't call me." And with that, she ran out of the building.

Troy groaned and walked to Annie and Abed. "Hey Troy!" Abed said.

"Troy what's wrong?" Annie asked concerned for him.

"Nothing … well something… I don't want to talk about it!"

Annie responded kindly, "Well if you don't want to talk about it then-"

"Do you think Britta is a slut?" Troy interjected. "She is you know. She fucks everyone. Damn we should start a countdown 'till she starts sleeping with … with … with Pierce!"

Annie shook her head in disbelief. "You don't mean that."

"Yeah, she never had sex with me!" Abed said as an attempt to emphasize Annie's point.

Troy shook his head and offered Abed no reply. "Well if you see her around … make a mean face at her." He then walked away. Almost a second later, Britta walked to them, teary-eyed. As she approached Abed was squishing his face while squinting his eyes.

"Hey Britta. What happened?" Annie asked as Abed continued with his facial expression.

"First of all…what is he doing?" she asked Annie, referring to Abed's disturbing facial expression.

"Troy told him to make a mean face at you." Annie said matter-of-factly.

Britta rolled her eyes, "Look, remember how Professor Warren asked me to stay after class? Well he came on to me," she said, answering her own question.

"And Troy is mad at you? Why isn't he pissed at Professor Warren like a normal person?"

"Well, when I tried to get away from him, he randomly kissed me, and Troy saw. And he tried to make it seem like I kissed him, and Troy took his side!" she explained.

Abed started to walk away. "I have a policy against disagreeing with Troy and it is starting to seem like he is wrong. I need to leave before I opt against him." He sprinted down the hallway.

"It'll be fine Britta. He was just surprised. Give him a minute to cool off. He'll come around." Annie assured her.

"When he does, I'm not even sure I want to talk to him…Maybe you could help! You saw him come on to me in class," she begged.

"I'll try Britta, but I think you need to talk to him."

"Tell me when he's got enough sense to stop acting like a 5-year-old and have an adult conversation about this, instead of telling his friends to make mean faces at me," she said.

"Look at us," Annie began, "One of our boyfriends thinks we're cheating, and the other one is pregnant." It turned out to be a bad time to say that, because that's when Shirley approached them.

"One of you is pregnant? Who's pregnant?" Britta and Annie looked at each other not replying. "Fine don't tell me." Shirley said. "I already know its Britta. She is the only one stupid enough to let this happen."

Britta's jaw dropped and she waved her arms, "I'm right here, you know!"

"Britta what are you going to do?" Where in that apartment would you put a baby? How could you be so stupid? Why must you-"

"Shirley. Shirley!" Annie said finally getting her attention. I'm the one who's pregnant."

"Oh. That's nice!" She began. "Annie you'll make a great mom!"

"What the hell?!" she demanded to Shirley's double standard.

"I'm sorry Britta, but you're the type of person who'll need a stern lecture. Annie isn't. But maybe I should talk to Jeff. I'll bet he's freaking out!"

"No!" Annie screamed. "You can't talk to Jeff!"

"Why not pumpkin?"

"Because he doesn't know yet." Annie said guiltily.

"You know, I've been called a whore, and stupid today. I'm just going to leave before I'm bitchy next," Britta said, walking away.

Annie gritted her teeth. "So … I'm gonna go too."

Shirley stopped Annie, "Oh no you don't! Why haven't you told Jeff?"

"Because Jeff is scary."

Shirley looked confused, "He's…scary?"

"Yep." Annie said.

"Please, explain. I'm lost."

"I don't want Jeff to have a heart attack. If I tell him … he'll have one … and die … him dying is scary … ergo, I don't want to tell him!"

"But you're pregnant with his baby, Annie! Don't you think he deserves to know?" Shirley asked of her, not knowing that Pierce had entered the room. The apple he was eating fell out of his mouth at the news. His jaw remained gaped open.

"You're pregnant!"

Annie wanting this to be over was quick to reply. "Yes I'm pregnant. Jeff's the father. Britta and Troy also know, but Jeff doesn't know so we need not tell him."

Jeff walked in at that moment, "What doesn't Jeff know?"

Shirley looked at Annie, "We may need to find a more private place to talk."

Annie nodded and answered "How hot he looks today. Yep, major turn on."

"That's not what she was going to say. She wanted to tell you that she's p-"

Annie raced to cover Pierce's mouth. They could hear him trying to finish his statement from under her hand. Jeff and Shirley both stared at her. "Fat lip." She "explained." "He has been getting it all day. Pierce began to mumble. "What's that Pierce?" She turned to Jeff. "He wants to go to the nurse. I'm going to take him. I'll see you later. Love you! Bye!" She backed out of the room with her hand over Pierce's mouth.

Jeff looked after Annie, and then to Shirley, "What's with her?"

"She's … umm … I don't know."

He tilted his head, "You…you don't know?"

"I didn't say that." She said.

"Yeah…you kind of did," he said, with a confused smile.

"Good try Jeffrey. I'm not telling you Annie's secret."

"I…didn't ask about her secret," he said, seriously confused, now.

"Okay good … because I wouldn't tell you." Shirley said.

"Well…now I want to know."

"You know I can't tell you that." Shirley replied.

"You CAN, you're just choosing to keep it from me," he told her.

"Annie is choosing to keep it from you."

"Okay…so I'm just going to leave now," he said, walking back out of the door.

"That's nice." Shirley said.

He shut it, confused, and looked around for Annie.

Annie found him first. "Hey, ho!" She said acting as if nothing happened.

"Hey…so I hear you have a secret?" he said, coming right out with it.

"Oh yeah, what's that?" She said playing it coy.

"I don't know, you tell me?" he responded.

"Don't be ridiculous." She said. "Why would I keep a secret from you?"

"I don't know, why would you? Shirley says you are."

"Shirley thinks using the bathroom is a secret." Annie responded.

"But you've also been acting suspicious. Just tell me, I can handle it," he tried to convince her.

"I don't know what you're talking about." She said obviously lying.

"I think you do," he said to her. Not knowing what to do, Annie started to kiss him.

He tried to protest, but couldn't help but return the kiss. When he finally pulled away, he said, "Okay, just because that was really awesome, doesn't mean I don't still think you're hiding something."

"I do have a secret Jeff." Annie said with a smile.

"But, you won't tell me."

"Exactly."

"Oh, well that makes it okay—NOT!" he exclaimed.

"I'm sorry you feel that way Jeff." Annie answered back.

"No, no, no! You are not going to turn this around and make it my fault; I have a right to know if Shirley knows! I'm your boyfriend, not her!" he protested.

"I have nooooooooooooo clue how to respond to that." Annie said.

"You could tell me!" he said, hopefully.

"Well … here's the thing … bye!" She sprinted off.

He gave up on any attempt to catch her, and walked back in to the apartment.


	6. Loose Lips Sink Ships

**Author's note: We've been reading all of your reviews and you guys rock for leaving them. We noticed that several of you complained that the story is out of character. We tried to add a warning about that, but it's not showing up. Please know that we are not ignoring you; we love reviews.**

Britta stayed with Shirley for the weekend, which meant no drugs, no alcohol, and a minimal amount of swearing. As unbearable as this was for Britta, she could not stand to be with Troy at the moment. On Monday, when it came time again for her to join Annie in their class, Britta was not looking forward to it.

"Are you nervous?" Annie asked.

"Hell yeah…" she whispered, "Did you talk to Troy for me?"

"I tried, but I didn't get a chance. Jeff was calling all night asking me to tell him what was going on." Annie replied.

"You still haven't told him?" she asked, really not surprised at all.

"Why would I do that?" Annie asked sincerely.

"I don't know, because he might notice in nine months when that mysterious water bottle has been dripping on the floor, and you suddenly come down with a disease that makes your coughs sound like a crying baby," she told her.

Annie laughed. "Britta, Jeff is going to be unhappy every single day for the next eighteen years. I want him to have a few more days of happiness before I tell him that we are going to have to find higher paying jobs due to the fact that we need to support a child."

"I guess you're right," Britta said, with a smile, "It could be worse, what if you were having twins?"

"I'd have to kill Jeff to spare him from the pain."

"Well, eventually, you have to tell him," Britta reminded her.

"So three-hundred years from now still works? That's eventually." Annie said.

Britta playfully rolled her eyes and was about to respond when class was dismissed. Britta looked at the Professor's anxious eyes, and back at Annie, "Walk next to me when we leave." Britta said as the class got up to exit.

"Kay." Annie replied.

"Hello Miss Perry." Professor Warren stated calmly.

Britta turned around slowly making it clear that something was about to go down. "Hello Miss Perry? HELL -FUCKING -O MISS PERRY! No, no, you don't get to say hi after what you did yesterday." Mr. Warren tried to speak, but Britta held up a finger and shushed him. "My fiancée HATES me!"

"I thought you two were just dating. I didn't know you were engaged. That's so …" his voice trailed lustfully, "bad." He shivered.

"Where ya going with this?" Britta asked in a concerned voice.

"Come be bad with me Britta." He started to put his arms around her. As she demanded he let go, he chanted "Let's be bad." As all this was this was happening, Troy casually walked in the room, over to Professor Warren … and punched him in the nose.

After a minute of gently toughing his nose, he said something, "Who are you?" He asked, legitimately not remember him.

"I'm her fiancée."

"Don't you mean soon to be ex?" Britta mimicked under her breathe.

Having clearly heard Britta, Troy chose to ignore her for a moment. He grabbed the collar of the bloody nosed man and began to speak. "If you EVER mess with her again, we're gonna have a problem. Understand?" The frightened man nodded.

"Come on Britta. Let's go." Troy started to lead Britta out of the classroom.

"Britta! Wait! I bought this fur coat for you!"

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhh-" Britta's shriek was the scream heard 'round Greendale. "You've been plotting to screw with me for … god knows how long. And now … oh now you're trying to give me the gift of animal cruelty. You are a terrible … despicable… fucking… bastard!" Britta and Troy walked out of the room and into the not very crowded hallway.

"So…." Troy began.

"So?" Britta replied in a snarky tone.

"I'm really sorry."

"Should be." Britta replied, not ready to forgive him yet.

"Look. I know I fucked up."

"Sure did."

"Listen. I am really sorry. Please, let me make it up to you. I'll do anything."

"Anything?" Britta's voice perked up.

"Yeah. Anything."

"Too bad I still don't forgive you."

"But I'm really sorry." Troy gave off a guilty expression. He really had felt bad for not trusting her. He didn't know what to do; other than apologize five million times. "I love you." He added.

"I love you too." She said in a soft voice. "But I still don't forgive you."

"I know. It's just…" Troy began to have one of his melt downs.

"OH! Do NOT do that."

"I am really sorry Britta." He literally cried.

"Okay … okay. Stop that." Britta said. Troy continued to cry. "I'm only willing to forgive people who aren't crying right now." He stopped crying instantly. "Now let's go do something fun- not sex." She said before Troy could even begin to say it.

Troy sighed. "Let's go irk Annie 'til she tells Jeff about the baby."

"Yes" Britta agreed. As they started to walk down the hallway to find Annie, Britta reminded Troy FIVE times that she didn't forgive him yet.

When they finally found Annie, Troy was straightforward with his question. "Did you tell Jeff yet?"

"No." Annie answered. Then she looked at Britta and Troy and smiled. "Did you two make up?"

Britta quickly answered. "Hell fucking no. We're getting along, but he is not forgiven."

"She reminded me of that FIVE times on the way over here." Troy added.

Britta confirmed his statement "It's true."

Troy turned back to Annie "This conversation isn't about us. You need to tell Jeff now Annie. I've given you time … we've all given you time. But the longer you push this off the harder it is gonna be. We are making you tell Jeff now."

"You can't make me Troy." Annie pointed out. "I have class, so I need to go."

"You can't keep using class as an excuse." Britta argued.

"It is not an excuse if it's true Britta." Annie walked off to class.

"Why is she being such a bitch?" Britta asked Troy. "She is acting really out of character, even for a pregnant person."

"It's because she's afraid." Troy answered. Britta gave him a confused look. "I don't think it is because she's afraid of telling Jeff, I think it's because she is afraid of being pregnant. Most people share their fears with the father of their child… but she refuses to tell him. So… it sucks to be us right now"

"When the hell did you pick all of this up?"

"I couldn't sleep, so I was watching Dr. Drew … or Oz." Troy informed her.

Britta rolled her eyes. "Let's get to class."

When Troy and Britta arrived back at their apartment, they saw Annie sitting at the table. They were unaware that Abed was there too, having not seen him.

"Did you tell Jeff?" Troy asked. Knowing what her response was going to be, he changed his question. "Did you decide when you're gonna tell Jeff?" Annie shook her head. "Come on Annie!" He screamed. "You are pregnant with his baby! He deserves to know!"

Abed quickly emerged from his blanket fort. "Annie's pregnant!?"

"Seriously Troy, could you not keep your mouth shut." She turned to Abed whose jaw was half way to the floor. "Troy could you go in your room? I need to talk to Abed. Troy nodded and entered his own room.

"Abed sit down for a moment." Annie said calmly. Abed sat on a chair. "Yes, I am pregnant."

"Who's the father?" Abed asked.

"Jeff…" Annie replied, confused by his silly question.

"Now Annie… are you POSITIVE that you are pregnant and not just going through menopause?"

"Menopause… I am in my twenties! I am positive."

"So… like… Jeff doesn't even know?" Abed questioned.

"Exactly, but you can't tell him." Annie replied.

"How are you gonna tell him?"

"I don't know. I … yeah I don't know."

"Hmm…" Abed began. "Well, on Friends Rachel just waited outside of Ross's apartment 'til he got home. … or on Full house, Becky made Jesse guess what she was drawing and she drew out the words she is having a baby. But, on Bones it wasn't that hard tell him … it was just super awkward … well, it was a little hard, but mostly awkward. Oh, on Charmed, Piper and Leo's future child told Leo … so Piper never had to-"

"Thank you Abed. That is enough for now."

"Hey Annie," Abed said as she started to walk away "If all else fails do what Shirley did and have Pierce shout it across the room."

"I'll keep that in mind." She laughed.


	7. You'll Be Confused

**Authors note: I'm going to warn you in advanced; this will be a really weird chapter. Before you guys get angry, please know. We are going somewhere with this! If you can't handle things being a bit odd, why are watching Community? However, if this REALLY bothers you, feel free to skip the latter half of this chapter.**

Annie folded her hands on the table and looked around the study group, "So, who's going to the dance?"

Britta raised her hand, and then lowered it to hold Troy's hand. "I am purely going because she promised we could fuck afterwards," Troy stated, proud.

Annie rolled her eyes. "Ew."

"I'm going too." Abed added.

"Oh that's nice. I am as well." Shirley clapped.

"I'm going too." Pierce angrily added. "Did you guys just conveniently forget the old guy?"

"We didn't forget; we chose to ignore you." Jeff said. "Now, whoa, whoa, whoa guys, why are we talking about dances? Let's talk about something we can all get into! Like… Obama or Romney?" he said improvising.

The group groaned. "Jeff," Abed spoke, "You asked how we got on the topic of dances. To answer you, your girlfriend brought it up."

"Actually we're just fr-sorry, force of habit," he said correcting himself.

Annie looked deeply saddened by this comment, but simply said "I have to go to class."

"Ugh. Stop saying that. You're bad at tell Jeff things he needs to know." Troy pointed out. Annie raised her eyebrows emphasizing that she wanted him to shut the fuck up.

Britta jumped into the joke whole-heartedly. "Yeah Annie! Shouldn't Jeff knooooooow about a certain item inside your body?" She exclaimed failing.

The room got silent. Everybody knew what she was talking about; everybody… except Jeff. "Annie if you wanna talk to Jeff alone we'll leave." Abed stated, as the group nodding in agreement.

Britta sunk in her seat in shame. Jeff held his hands up. "Wait a minute guys; what would Annie need to talk to me about?"

"Nothing… there is nothing I need to talk to talk to you about. I am sure they think I'm upset about you coming close to saying we're just friends." Annie fearfully stated with a nod.

"Well, considering you are acting weird lately, Abed's comment, and Britta's awkward attempt to join in, I think it's something more."

The group took this as their cue to leave and attempted to discretely walk out of the study room door. Jeff and Annie both saw them, but neither said anything. When they were gone, Annie spoke up. "Well, is there anything else?"

"With me? Nothing except my awesome new pants. With you, I think so."

"You know what!? Annie yelled making a fist. She slowly lowered the fist and took a deep breath in. She returned to speaking calmly and said "I will see you at the dance tonight."

He raised a confused eyebrow. "Wow. Periods must be getting progressively worse."

"I am NOT on my period!" Annie yelled. It was the first time that statement was actually true.

"Then what's wrong? Jesus, Annie, you're acting like you just lost America's Next Top Model!"

"I am mad at you!" She lied through her teeth.

"For what?" He asked.

"For being you!" Annie answered.

"Ooooh descriptive."

"Go to hell." Annie said with a furious expression on her face.

"Been there and back, sweetie!" he yelled.

Annie walked out the door only to walk right back in. "I do like your new pants."

"Thank you, they're tailored!" he screamed, holding his angry tone.

"See you at the dance." Annie said, leaving the room for good this time.

"Not if I see you first!" he yelled, after she left.

At the dance, Troy and Abed were doing the running man awkwardly in the middle of the dance floor, as Britta covered her face in shame, pretending he wasn't her fiancé.

Annie walked up to Britta "I'll be outside; I need to throw up."

"Before you go, will you shoot me?" she pleaded. Annie made an attempt to answer, before running outside to vomit.

Troy finished his awkward dance and walked over to Britta. She looked up at him, "You think we should get Annie to tell Jeff?"

"Asking Annie to tell Jeff would be like asking Matthew McConaughey to cough into his sleeve… he'd be all… sleeve? … What's a sleeve? It's on a shirt… what's a shirt? Oh, is that something I was supposed to be wearing all this time?" Troy paused for a moment, "What were we talking about again?"

Britta stared at him blankly, "What the fuck are you talking about?" Troy shrugged and Jeff walked over, "Hey, have either of you guys seen Annie?"

Britta looked up, "Well, she went outside, but there's definitely something she should tell you," she tried to say, slyly. Jeff ignored her and walked outside.

After vomiting, Annie started to walk back into the dance. Realizing that she wasn't in the mood to go back in there, she took a seat on one of the couches by the foosball tables.

He walked up to her and took a seat beside her, "Hey, why are you out here? Are you okay?"

"Jeff…I'm uh….."

The next thing Annie knew, she was at the funeral. The priest began to speak as the study group around her began to cry. "We commit the body of Jeff Winger to the ground. We don't know why god chose to take him from us. But we do know that he died of a heart attack, after his girlfriend… ANNIE EDISON, the young woman sitting in the front row, viciously informed him that she was pregnant. Now, I as a priest, to try not to judge, but … COME ON ANNIE! Did you really have to tell him?" "Yeah!" The mourners, including her friends, yelled throwing paper balls at her.

She crawled into the fetal position. "I'm sorry… you guys told me to! … And where the hell are you getting the paper to make these!?"

Annie returned to reality with Jeff snapping in her face. "Annie? Annie?! Are you okay? What was it you wanted to tell me?" he asked.

She looked down for a moment; thinking. "I'm really disappointed in the all-star cast of Dancing with the Stars."

Jeff raised an eyebrow, "Somehow I don't think you've been going off on me for days to tell me that."

"I am deeply saddened by it."

"Yeah, okay, now why don't you cut the bull shit and tell me what's up?" Jeff pleaded.

"The sky … if that answer doesn't suit you, the ceiling."

Jeff grit his teeth, "If you weren't a girl I would punch you so hard right now. Just tell me the truth."

"Wow, threatening to punch me really makes me wanna tell you the truth!"

"Ha! So you admit you were lying!" he said, thrilled.

Annie snapped her fingers. "Fuck."

"Now, you have to tell me!" he ordered.

"I don't have to tell you anything!" She screamed.

"Yes you do, I'm your boyfriend! C'mon, where's that "Love and trust and sharing feelings" shit you're always going on about?! Where's that when I need it?!"

"Take me home!" she demanded.

"Until you tell me, you're hitchhiking, babe!"

Annie was about to yell at him, when a thought occurred to her. "Jeff… why are we even fighting?"

"Because you refuse to tell me something I want to know, and nobody keeps stuff from Jeff Winger. Jeff Winger keeps stuff from other people."

"I'm not telling you because we're fighting."

"Okay, poof! We're not fighting, tell me," he tried.

Annie laughed and remained silent for a moment. She rested her head on his shoulder before asking, "How do you know that something's up with me?"

"One, because I know you. Two, you don't watch Dancing with the Stars."

"Maybe I'll start." Annie said with a smile.

"This is a perfect example of how perfect we are together. I don't understand why you would keep something from me. Just tell me, babe, you can tell me anything."

Annie moved over on the couch, distancing herself from him. She looked him in the eyes. "I'm pregnant."

Jeff blinked rapidly, "Oh…well…" Jeff said in a cheerfully surprised tone, "That is…definitely not Dancing with the Stars…" Annie made her Disney eyes, not saying a word.

"I mean," he said, starting to correct himself, "That's fantastic, I'm gonna be a father!" He stood up and looked up at the sky, "YOU HEAR THAT WORLD?! JEFF WINGER'S GONNA BE A FATHER!"

Annie stared at him blankly. "You. HATE. Fathers."

He thought for a moment, "Yeah, but…I'll be a good one…" he said, telling the truth, but also trying to make Annie happy.

"Could you please say something honest?"

"I am totally and 100% pleasantly surprised, and not as pissed as you thought I would be. And THAT is a fact," he told her.

"Take me home." She insisted.

He nodded, seeing she didn't believe him. They walked outside to his car and he opened the door for her.

They sat awkwardly silent in the car. Jeff looked over a bit, "So…I promise you I'm—"

"Just… don't."

He slowly turned his head back to the windshield. After a while, he tried again, "I mean, I'm really—"

"You better finish this with okay, because you are sure as heck not happy."

"Annie, why don't you believe me? People can change."

Annie answered honestly. "I don't believe you, because it is a lie. I'm not happy, so why would you be?"

"I think I know the truth. I think you've spent all this time worrying about how mad or upset I would be, and now that I'm HAPPY, you just refuse to be wrong."

"Jeff… how are we gonna afford a baby?"

"We'll figure something out…you and I are like a couple on a T.V. sitcom, everything will turn out okay!"

"I hate our baby. I hate it."

Jeff paused for a moment, "I'm sorry, what now?"

"I don't want a baby… I don't even wanna be pregnant. I mean, I still think abortions are wrong, and I wouldn't even consider getting one but, I really don't want it." Annie replied.

"Well, I have no way of knowing this for sure, but I've heard when you hold it in your arms or something, you like it better."

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" Annie screamed. She just screamed.

Jeff looked at her slowly, "What…in the hell…was that?"

"Take me to the mental hospital. I need to be on suicide watch." She said, sort of honestly, she wouldn't really kill herself, but she'd come pretty damn close. This was Annie's way of freaking out. Now that she'd gotten through telling Jeff, she had to convince herself that she was okay.

"I would, but, then I'd have to switch lanes…effort." He responded.

Annie totally lost it at this point. "Take me there. I'm gonna scream again… I'm not gonna breathe until you do." Annie was progressively going insane.

"Annie, you're fine! I'm not taking you to the mental hospital! And even if I did, you'd pass out before we got there. Just saying."

She continued to lose sanity "I want Adderall. I can believe I said that! I need to get out of this car!" She unbuckled her seatbelt, unlocked her car door, she started to push the door open.

"What the fuck, Annie?!" he called, grabbing her waist with one hand, and pulling over to the side of the road with the other. He was breathing heavily.

"Help me!" She yelled and began to cry.

He took her by the shoulders and shook her, "Annie, stop this!" Calm yourself, you are FINE! DO you hear me? You. Are. FINE!"

"I am not fine! Where's the books I'm gonna be late. I can't be late. I'm never late. I'm gonna be executed. My mom hates me! She's gonna sell me as a sex slave! I liiiiiiiiike living here!"

"Okay, once again, I have NO idea what in the fuck you are talking about, but you are fine. Okay, sweetie? You'll be fine," he said, softly, in a "please don't go crazy and murder me" tone.

She started making weird designs with her fingers. "Hydrogen!"

Jeff was at a loss for words, he went to his phone, and couldn't believe the number he was dialing. Someone picked up, "Britta?" he called.

"Yeah, Jeff?" she asked, confused as to why he would call her.

"Annie's a little…eccentric, right now, and, uh, I need your help."

"You need my what now?" she asked, thinking he was joking.

"What does your psych class say about people who hallucinate?" While Britta thought of an answer, Annie was repeating in the background, "Keep walking, but you won't knock down our wall, keep walking…."

"Well, uh, it just says to get them to breathe slowly and calm down, I guess," she responded.

"Britta, she told me her mother was going to sell her as a sex slave," Jeff responded, matter-of-factly.

"Well, then…get her to a hospital?" she tried.

Jeff glared at the phone, "This is why no one likes you!" he said, before hanging up, and turning back to Annie.

Annie spoke again "I live on a cloud… in a diamond. I don't need my mother here… because I'm just a teenage dirt bag baby."

"That's all very nice, Annie," he said, slowly, backing out of the car.

"Where are you going? There is something out there?"

He looked around, confused, "What's out there?"

Annie quickly replied. "It was a one-eyed, one-horned, flying' purple people eater."

Jeff nodded, "Oooooookay," he said, still slowly leaving the car.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTTT TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT TT!"

Jeff panicked, "What? What? What is it?!"

"Did Ross and Rachel end up together?" She asked sweetly.

He picked up his phone, turning to dialing three numbers.

"I'm a Barbie girl, in a Barbie world. Life is plastic it's fantastic!"

The operator picked up, and Jeff immediately said, "Yeah, um, my girlfriend's going insane, and I'm legitimately scared, so…could you help?"

He could still hear Annie. "I'm a blonde bimbo girl in a fantasy world."

"Yeah, we need help fast," Jeff added. The operator instructed him that they would send help right away. Jeff thanked her and shut the phone. Jeff shook his head and just kept repeating, "Go to the dance, they said…you'll have fun, they said… I heard nothing about… you'll find Annie's pregnant… she'll go insane."

Annie turned her head to look at Jeff. "Do you want a cookie?" She then started to take off all of her clothes.

"No, at the moment, I kind of want a .44," he told her.

At the dance, Troy approached Britta. "Who was that?" He asked.

"Jeff, asking about Annie. I'm pretty sure she told Jeff, but instead of him going insane, it was vice versa."

"So… Annie went insane? I find that hard to believe." Troy said.

"Well, she said her mom sold her as a sex slave, so I believe it." Britta said. Troy shrugged in response.

Over where Jeff and Annie were, an ambulance was finally arriving at their car. Jeff ran to the paramedic and sped walked with him to the car, "Thank God you're here I have no idea what to do!"

The paramedic laughed, "Oh, that's okay, son. When you've been in this business for a long time, you see all kinds of things."

"I don't know doctor, she's in pretty bad shape," Jeff protested.

"Nothing I haven't seen kid," the paramedic said, but ate his words when Annie was chewing on the steering wheel.

The paramedic raised an eyebrow," 20 years in the business and nothing, I repeat, NOTHING quite like this…"

Jeff covered his face and backed away.

Annie spoke to the paramedic. "I see dead people; walking around like regular people. They don't know their dead. They only see what they wanna see." Jeff tried to remain calm after hearing her say that. He reminded himself that those words were simply evidence that Annie had spent too much time with Abed.

Jeff simply helped Annie into the truck, and stepped down, walking to his car. As he walked, Annie began to scream. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Don't leeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeave me! Don't abandon me like my family!"

Jeff begrudgingly stepped into the back of the truck with her, REALLY wishing he hadn't gone to the dance.


	8. Forever and Always

**Authors note: If you're reading this, it means that you still have an iota of faith after last chapter, for that I offer you a virtual hug. Warning: This chapter starts off with semi-detailed sex.**

Britta and Troy backed up into their bedroom, panting heavily. Their lips never separated for more than a second. They found themselves against the wall and Britta wrapped her legs around Troy's waist. He laid her down on the bed and reached for her bra. "Be careful, that's new from Victoria's Secret." She informed him.

"Really?" Troy questioned, through kissing her neck, "Is that the most important thing right now?"

Britta pondered this, "Well, yeah I mean, don't break the strap or anything."

"Break a strap?" He asked, in voice that emphasized how stupid her comment was, while still kissing her neck. "Forty bucks says you were involved in some form of bra burning feminist act. Honestly, I'd bet you were involved in several."

Britta rolled her eyes at his sly comment and took off his shirt. Troy helped Britta remove the rest of her clothes and made a trail of kisses down her stomach. She breathed slowly and slid down his pants. Troy grabbed Britta's breast with one hand and started caressing her clit with the other. Britta moaned and held him close. He slipped inside of her and rolled on top. Troy started a quick rhythm and gave her clit a few more strokes. Britta moaned again and dug her nails into the sheets. Troy took hold of Britta's hips and rolled them both over, putting her on top. She moved at a fast pace rubbing her hands up and down Troy's chest. Troy ran his thumbs over her tits. Britta fastened her pace panting heavily. Knowing that he was about to cum, Troy flipped them over again. He was hoping to make her cum first. She moaned deeply and clutched the headboard, on the verge of Cumming. Troy thrust as quickly as he could and rubbed her clit as hard as he was barely capable of not Cumming himself. Britta screamed with pleasure as she came. Troy came shortly after.

They both lade still trying to catch their breaths. "That was great…" Britta said dreamily through catching her breath. Troy nodded his head in agreement, panting.

Over at the hospital, Jeff was not having such a pleasuring time, as he waited for Annie to wake up. Jeff paced quicker, "I do not understand what I did wrong, damn it," he muttered to himself.

Annie started to wince in the hospital bed, not fully awakening. It still caused a doctor to enter the room.

"Told her I was I happy, but nooooo. She wouldn't take that." He continued to say to himself.

Annie's eyes fluttered open. She didn't say anything; just looked around. After a few moments she finally spoke up. "Jeff, what happened?"

"What happened? You lost your mind and started chewing on the steering wheel naked, that's what happened!"

She stared at him blankly. "Wait… what?"

"You heard me. You told me you were pregnant, I said I was happy, and you just lost it."

Annie blinked rapidly and thought really hard for a minute "…did I start singing Barbie Girl?"

"Ooooooh yeah," he confirmed. "Big time."

Annie turned bright red and buried her face in her hands. "The doctor approached her. "I believe you were experiencing hallucinations." The doctor turned back towards Jeff. "Would you agree sir?"

"Oh yeah, but I don't know why." He said, as bit resentful.

The doctor turned back towards Annie "Have you ever experienced one before?"

Annie nodded her head. "Once, when I was in high school. I hallucinated that everyone was secretly a robot and I… kind of ran through a plate-glass door to avoid them… it was caused by an overdose of Adderall."

The doctor clicked his pen and wrote something down. "I will be back in one minute." He told the couple.

"So…" Annie started, realizing that her curiosity was topping her embarrassment, "What else did I do?"

"Hmmm… you told me your mom was gonna sell you as a sex slave, you said something about being a "teenage dirt bag baby" … you asked me if I wanted a cookie, then stripped. And somewhere in there was a flying-purple-people-eater."

Annie started cracking up. "Please… please, tell me nobody else saw this."

"Nope, Just me and some very disturbed paramedics."

Annie looked down and blushed. "Jeff, are you really happy about this?" She asked running her hand over her belly.

He looked her straight in the eye, "Would I have gone through that whole night of hell by your side if I wasn't?" Annie shrugged. "You know what?" Why don't you tell me? Why don't you tell me what it's gonna take for me to prove to you that I'm happy?" Jeff asked.

"Why are you getting mad at me?" Annie asked.

"I'm not, I just want to prove to you that I'm happy, and I don't know how."

"Well… aside from being happy, what are you feeling? I just wanna know that I'm not the only one who is scared."

"Believe me you're not … it's that I'm scared for me, I'm scared for the kid…," He said sitting next to her. "What if I'm a terrible dad?"

Annie rubbed his arm. "Why would you be a terrible dad?"

"Because I've never been one before." Jeff said, rubbing his eyes.

"Well… lots of people haven't been dads before. Every guys who have children had to go through being a dad for the first time once."

"But I don't want to fuck up this kid's life if I'm terrible."

"My parents were terrible. But think if my mother hadn't disowned me I probably would have been able to attend a normal college after rehab. Then, I wouldn't have met you."

"He allowed a smile, "Soooo what you're saying is that I'll be a terrible dad, but the kid will still be okay?"

Annie ran her lip through her bottom teeth and tilted her head "Noooo. I'm saying that… um… if you don't kill it, don't push it to the point that it turns to drugs, and don't run away, you'll already top our own parents.

He smiled, "That is the sweetest thing that you ever said to me." Annie smiled and nodded her head as if she was giddy. Then she kissed him.

Jeff kissed back. "We should probably live in the same apartment if were gonna raise a kid."

"We've already got four people living in my apartment; I don' think there is ANY room for you." Annie joked.

"Well… what would you think about us moving into an apartment… together?" Jeff asked.

"Hmmm, I guess it would be best. You know… for the baby. Plus, Shirley is already judging us for getting pregnant… so it would be nice to get all of her judgment out of the way in one week."

Jeff laughed, "That sounds great."

She smiled. "So… did I… you know… say anything about being pregnant… or the baby last night?" Annie asked.

"Just that you… you know… hated our baby…"

Annie's smile faded "What…" She said in a quiet voice.

"You heard me…" he said, quietly, scared.

"I-I-I… that's not… why did I say that?"

"You tell me…"

Annie shut her eyes tightly, holding back tears. She took a deep breath. "Could I be alone for a minute?" She asked. Jeff nodded and silently left the room.

Annie traced circles over her stomach. "So," she said to her unborn child. "I hear I said some pretty bad stuff about you last night. Are you mad?" Annie laughed at how silly she sounded, but continued anyway. "You know I don't hate you. I…. I hate this situation. I hate that I can't give you the perfect life. I hate the timing. But, I do NOT hate you. I know what it's like to have a mother that hates you; mine hated me. I won't be like her. I'm going love and protect you; I'm gonna give you the best life possible." Annie stated silent for a few minutes, before standing up."

Annie went outside to find Jeff. He was sitting right outside of her door. "Jeff." She called gesturing for him to come in. He stood and followed her into the room.

After they were in there room they started to talk. "Do you think it's a girl or a boy?" Annie asked.

"No idea. But, how are we gonna decided on the name?"

"We need to know the gender first." Annie pointed out.

"Well, that'll be a while. Any ideas now?"

Annie thought for a second. "How about… I have nothing."

"As long as it's not Debbie… or Molly… or Wesley… or Stacey, or anything else along those lines, we should be okay." Jeff said.

"Okay, I'll keep that in mind." Annie replied.

Soon after, the doctor returned. "The good news is I don't think it is anything serious. It was just a mixture of sleep deprivation and stress. I'm going to prescribe you a pill, which should keep this from happening again. If you have insomnia, be sure to contact your personal doctor. You're free to go Miss Edison." Annie was informed.

Jeff nodded in gratitude and extended a hand to help Annie up. "Milady."

She took his hand and replied, "Milord."


	9. Britta is Not Annie

Britta pulled up her jeans and belted them, looking for her shirt. "You still mad at me?" Troy asked.

"Oh hell yeah," she said, putting on a random t-shirt.

"Really?" Troy questioned, already knowing she'd say yes.

"Duh-Douy!" she said in a pretend-retarded voice, brushing her hair. Troy groaned, knowing he couldn't change her mind. "What are we gonna do today?" Britta asked.

"I'm going to act out T.V. scenarios with Abed," he answered.

She rolled her eyes, "I'll hang out with Annie then."

"You might not want to do that, considering she went crazy the other night."

"Well I know that, that's why I think I can help her," Britta said, eagerly.

"Oh, Jeff will be thrilled," he replied, sarcastically.

She gave him an angry look, "Yes, he will be, because I can cure her! I happen to be a psych major."

"I know, Britta. We all know," he said, groaning.

She ignored that and left the room, "Since I'm still mad at you, you get to clean the sheets. Bye!"

"Damn it!" he exclaimed to himself, "Why do I always have to clean the sheets?"

Britta decided to go for a drive. She grabbed her keys, walked down the steps and entered her car. She started driving down the road.

Sirens went off right behind her. She looked out of her rear view mirror, to see that she in fact was the one being pulled over. With a groan she complied with the law and pulled to the side of the road. A male cop in his early to mid-thirties approached her car. He had dark brown hair and partially resembled Adam Levine. "Hello ma'am," The officer said.

"Hello." She greeted him unsure of why he pulled her over.

"Are you aware that you were surpassing the speed limit?"

"FUCK!" she screamed. Realizing he was giving her the look that people probably spent the entire night giving Annie, she quickly spoke again. "I mean… no sir. I am terrible sorry. I can assure you that I was not aware of this."

The officer gave her a weird look but said. "I'll let you off with a warning this time. Don't let it happen again."

"Thank you… thank you." She replied grateful, because a few weeks ago Troy had kindly informed her that he'd kill her if she got ANOTHER ticket.

"Well… it's not a problem. But, I still need your license and registration."

Britta nodded and opened the compartment holding her information. A baggie fell out. "Oh shit." She said to herself.

"Ma'am, what's in the bag?"

"Uh…just some… powder for…uh…powdering?" she said, desperately trying to kick the bag under the car.

The officer gave her a stern look. "Hand me the bag."

"Well…you see, the thing is—" with that, she bolted down the street at an attempt to catch him off guard and escape, "You'll never take me alive!" she exclaimed.

The cop rolled his eyes and pulled out his Taser. "Freeze!" She kept running, for some reason assuming he couldn't get her if she was far enough away.

"Ma'am I don't want to pull this so come over here and nobody gets hurt. You'll be in less trouble if just calmly walk over here."

"The man can't keep me down!" she shouted, turning a corner and still running. The cop reluctantly tased her.

"Damn it!" she shouted, as she fell down on the sidewalk, suddenly hoping that no one she knew saw this little incident. The cop put her into his car and they drove off with the god awful sirens on.

By the time they arrived at the station, she was no longer incapacitated. The cop walked out, opened the back door, handcuffed her, and walked her inside. He told her to sit on the bench while he informed the other officers about what happened. He then returned and uncuffed her, "One phone call, make it count," he said.

Britta inhaled deeply and walked to the phone. She didn't move her fingers; instead she began to talk to herself. "If Troy threatened to kill me over a speeding ticket… I really don't think this he'll be okay with this. But, if I don't call Troy I'd have to call Annie and Annie had a mental breakdown so calling her might not be best. I could call Jeff. I mean, after all he is rich enough to bail me out. Pierce is also rich enough to bail me out, but that 1,000 year old gave me a stripper pole." Britta sighed. She knew there was only one person she could call and she prayed they would follow her orders.

She quickly punched in the number and held her phone to her ear. It began to ring. "Hello?"

"Hey Abed… please don't tell Troy that you're talking to me."

Abed looked over at Troy, who was standing right next to him. Troy was his best friend and he hated lying to him. But, Britta was his friend too and he needed to be loyal to her. He sighed. "Hey…..? Annie? What's up?"

"Wait… Annie. Wha—oh yeah! Uh, here's the thing. I sort of got arrested and I need you to bail me out," she pleaded.

"Why did you call me?"

"Troy'd be mad, Annie's crazy, Jeff's a douche, Pierce is an even bigger douche, and do I really need to tell you why I wouldn't call Shirley?" she responded.

He exited the apartment so Troy couldn't hear him. "Okay… but I've never done this before. On most TV shows they just say someone bailed you out. They've never explained how the process works."

"How hard can it be? You just tell them my name, ask what the bail is, and hand them the money," she instructed.

"So… how much is this gonna cost me?" He asked.

"I really don't know, but I'll make it up to you, I promise," she told him.

"Can I just bring a check book?"

"Sure, just hurry. These cops aren't like the ones in the movies; they don't eat donuts and drink coffee at 3 in the afternoon."

"Really? I always liked that about movie cops." Abed answered in disappointment.

"Just get over here, please," she said, hanging up the phone, and turning around to see the cop. He cuffed her again and took her to a cell.

Before leaving Abed yelled to Troy. "I'm going to Jeff's house. He and Annie can't come to an agreement on whether or not In Living Color, was a good series. I'm gonna help them out."

Britta turned to a see a tall, huge guy sitting next to her. "So, you got caught by the man too, huh? Guess we're just a bunch of rebels. Up top!" she said, raising her hand for a high-five.

He turned his head and said, "I will snap you like a piece of titanium."

She looked confused, "Don't you mean a twig?"

He gave her a menacing expression and responded, "No."

"Okay, guess you're not in the mood to chat," she said, moving away from him, waiting for Abed.

Outside, Abed was nervously approaching the door. He braced himself and walked inside.

The cop walked over to him, "Can I help you, sir?"

"I'm here to bail someone out." He said fearfully.

"And who would that be?" he asked, wondering why the man was trembling.

"Um…" Abed coughed. He then spoke louder. "Britta Perry."

He rolled his eyes, "So the punk gets off, huh? That'll be $150," he told him. Abed nodded and wrote a check for $150.

He took it and led him over to the cell. He opened the door, "Okay, Ms. Perry, you're free to go. But do not let me catch you again," he warned. Britta nodded and hugged Abed, gratefully, "Thank you soooo much," she said.

"You owe me $150." He said as they walked out to his car.

* * *

On the way home, Britta looked out the window, "My life sucks, "she stated.

Abed looked over at her. "You're life doesn't suck. The women who played Wednesday Addams as a child is now a school bus driver. Her life sucks."

She smiled a bit as they pulled up.

"So… where's your car?"

She looked at him, "You know, I have no idea…I should probably get that…"

"Let's go see if they towed it." Abed said.

She nodded, leading him to the spot where she was pulled over.

"Thank god!" They both said when they saw it was right she left it.

As Britta got into her car, Abed asked "So, When are you gonna tell Troy?" He tilted his head as if he was saying hmmm.

"Why would I do that?" Britta asked.

"Because you're marrying him. Don't couples tell each other everything? Or at least everything that involves getting arrested," Abed answered.

"Well some things need to be left out," she said cursing the boot that had been put over her wheel.

"But I can't keep a secret from him," Abed replied. He remained silent for a moment watching Britta. "Are you having a problem with your wheel?"

"Yeah, they put a boot on it. And why can't you keep a secret from him?" She said getting out of the car.

"I don't lie to Troy. You shouldn't lie to Troy. People have no reason to lie to Troy."

"Okay, how about lying to Troy so Troy's not disappointed in Britta?"

"Why are you talking in third person? Never mind; I'll play along… Troy loves Britta. Troy will forgive Britta." Abed dropped the "Britta". "He's only going to be disappointed because he's worried about you. You're important to him."

She smiled. "You really think so?"

"Sure. I mean he talks about you far more than I'd like to hear."

She smiled ignoring the last part. "Okay I'll tell him."

"Good. When? I wanna be sure that you'll actually tell him. We already had episodes where Annie was afraid to tell Jeff something. We don't need the same story with you and Troy."

"Is he home?" Abed nodded. She leaned her head against the steering wheel of her car. "Will you drive me back to the apartment?"

"Of course," Abed replied quickly reaching over to give her a side hug. "Who would've thought… me helping you? This is just like that episode of inspector space time, where Geneva taught the inspector a lesson; although, I'm the inspector here. But, you're usually the one who helps me. Today we're reversed." Abed rambled.

She nodded pretending he didn't say that and took a seat in his car. After they approached the apartment, Abed turned to Britta. "Do you want me to go with you?"

"No, I have to do this alone…" She said taking a deep breath, and walking inside.

"Good luck." He replied. If he gets mad I'll talk you him. I love you." He half expected her to turn around and not go through with telling Troy. But Britta wasn't Annie. She had enough confidence to tell her boyfriend things.

She nodded her head in gratitude and walked inside, "Troy?" She called.

"In hear." He called from their bedroom.

She reluctantly walked into the bedroom. "What's up?" he said as she entered the room.

"I have to tell you something, she said shuffling her feet.

He stared at her. "We don't TELL each other things." He gave her a playful eye roll.

She did not smile. "But apparently I shouldn't lie to you, so…I think you should know."

"Okay, go ahead and tell me," he replied.

"Yeah, I really should, but I have to…" she panicked and turned around in attempt to leave.

Troy grabbed her wrist. "If I wanted this type of interaction I'd be dating Annie."

She stopped, "I got arrested today."

"For…? And better yet how? I mean you were gone for like an hour."

"For… doing stuff…" she said quietly.

"What kind of stuff?" He asked annoyed by her hovering over the point.

"Illegal stuff… you know… that you smoke." She muttered.

"Ugh." He groaned. "Okay, give me the WHOLE story."

"I got pulled over for a speeding ticket. They asked for my license, a quarter ounce of pot fell out of my glove compartment. I ran away from a cop that looked like Adam Levine, so he tased me. He took me to the police station… and Abed bailed me out." She ended with the best smile that she could muster up.

Troy remained silent for a while. He opened his mouth as if he intended to speak. Then he closed it again. After a while he finally replied. "You kept pot in your glove department?"

"Really? That's all you have to say?" She asked, confused.

"Well that is the stupidest thing I have ever heard. Why would you keep it in such an obvious place?"

"Well I didn't expect to get pulled over, so I didn't have a reason to hide it."

"If I were you, I'd expect to get pulled over. And, no offence sweetie, but you sound like an idiot." Troy bluntly stated.

"Look, never mind that. You're not mad?"

Troy said, "Well I would be, but you should already feel enough shame for having pot in your glove department."

"Okay fuck this," she stated leaving the apartment.

"Where are you going? You don't have a car." Troy laughed. "Because you had pot in your glove department." He fell onto the floor in laughter. Britta groaned and walked out, slamming the door.

After he regained composure, Troy shook his head and stated to himself. "I should've known Abed was hiding something. Jeff and Annie wouldn't watch In Living Color."


End file.
